Managing the downsizing process with a senior loved one has many ups and downs. Feelings of relief, accomplishment, frustration, and fear are just a few of the many emotions shared. However, despite its challenges, downsizing can powerfully support a loved one’s independence, providing physical, mental, and emotional health benefits for caregivers and seniors alike.

When managed correctly, downsizing can offer significant advantages when planning a transition to community living. In this article, we’re helping caregivers feel equipped and ready to tackle this task. From recognizing the signs it’s time to downsize and tips for having the conversation, to best practices for decluttering and more, you’ll be set up for success in any season. Let’s get to it!

Downsizing—Is It Time?

If you’re reading this article, chances are you’ve noticed some of the common signs that it’s time to rethink a loved one’s home environment. Do any of the following scenarios sound familiar?

• Clutter, clutter, and more clutter: Are tabletops piled with bills and mail, rooms full of boxes or unneeded items, or closets not closing? Does the house have too much stuff?
• Unsafe or unused spaces: Every home has well-traveled areas, but is the clutter beginning to take over the safe pathways that mom or dad rely on to get from room to room? Are there too many unused floors, rooms or spaces in the home?
• Mobility hazards: Is there ample room to get around if your loved one uses a walker and another assistive device? Are there tripping hazards that can interfere? Are there enough places to stop, sit, or hold on when needed?
• Housekeeping: Are the surfaces in the home dusty, dirty, or in need of overall housekeeping? Is laundry piling up and getting in the way of the daily routine? Is the washer and dryer easily accessible?
• Stairs: Does the house have stairs to navigate to manage the daily routine?
• Maintenance struggles: Is the home in need of repairs or updates? Is the yard looking overgrown? Are necessary seasonal chores becoming a burden on family members?
• Proximity: Would living closer to family and friends benefit your loved one? Is travel convenient for routine trips, errands, and medical appointments? Are friendly neighbors or businesses close by if emergency help is needed?

Downsizing—Having a Conversation

If the signs suggest it’s time to downsize, having an honest and empathetic conversation with a senior loved one is a good idea. Often, older adults living alone for a few years will begin to observe the signs themselves and sense that a change is needed. Other times, older loved ones are very resistant to the idea of moving or even changing anything about their home environment.

You know your loved one best. Approach the conversation in a tone and manner that shows respect for their preferences and needs. Begin by asking open-ended questions, like:

• How do you feel about living alone in the house and managing so much?
• What do you think will happen as you get older and remain in your home?
• What would make things easier for you here at home?
• If you could change anything about your home environment, what would it be?
• How can we start the process of downsizing together?

During the conversation, share your observations, inquire about their fears, and be realistic about future scenarios and what could happen when their health and safety are compromised. Focus on communicating the downsizing task as a simple, organized process and ask them how involved they want to be. While some seniors may want to make decisions about everything, some might prefer to take a back seat and let others do the work.

Creating A Plan

When discussing downsizing with your loved one, presenting a plan can provide reassurance and remove some of the unknowns of his emotional task. If possible, consider creating a timeline outlining how you plan to tackle the project. When downsizing is a choice and not an urgent necessity, taking the process slowly can make it feel more manageable.

Some families choose to downsize one room at a time, while others may need to optimize safety in the home and begin with the most essential rooms – usually the bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen. With a few steps explained in writing, or a calendar with projects listed one day at a time, these tasks can be easily delegated to other family members or even a professional, should you choose to recruit the help of an expert. Whatever option you choose, set realistic goals that can move the process forward and don’t cause added anxiety for your loved one.

Sorting Belongings

Sorting belongings and household items can seem like the most daunting task when downsizing. This process can also create anxiety for a loved one, especially if mom or dad tends to be a saver or shows hesitance when it’s time to let go of things. To simplify the process, sort belongings into piles for keeping, donating, gifting, and discarding.

Keeping: These would be items that are used often and items of value, with purpose or memories attached to them. Be sure to keep any items you would need in a senior living setting, should you choose to move. You can also consider purchasing memory boxes of any kind to store items that you want to keep but don’t know what to do with or how to use them.

• Donating: These items would be those no longer needed which are still in good condition and can be used by others. Not sure where to donate? You can start with local thrift stores and community services organizations, Goodwill, Salvation Army, Veterans services, Habitat for Humanity, and others. A quick Google search will also yield familiar and unique places to donate after decluttering, such as those in this article, which includes a list of 11 charities that offer free donation pick-up.
• Gifting: You’ll likely have items that need to be set aside for giving away to family members, friends, or neighbors. It’s helpful to sort these items separately and place them into bags or boxes to ensure they don’t get mixed up with other piles. Include names whenever possible to ensure you don’t forget who will receive what.
• Discarding: If you’ve exhausted all other options and have items to discard, you can inquire about local trash pickup, purchase a dumpster, or contact a junk hauler who can come and take whatever you’ve set aside for this purpose.

Remember: when planning for a senior living move, the sorting process can help you prepare for your transition. Secure a moving checklist and any resources from your new community. Use their guides as you sort and downsize accordingly, and you’ll know what to keep, donate, discard, and gift as you go.

Handling Emotions

Downsizing can be highly emotional for seniors and caregivers, especially when sorting through belongings that contain so many memories. Working through the process together with a loved one, a family member, or a friend can offer much-needed support. If possible, save the most emotional items for last so you can be the most productive early on, and later take more time to reflect and let go.

AARP advises seniors and their families to focus on what they’re gaining and not losing. While it’s essential to recognize your feelings and allow time to think and move forward, spending too much time and energy dwelling on the change or a sense of loss can make the transition even more difficult.

Suppose the process is causing emotional and mental stress that is difficult to cope with. In that case, a spiritual care advisor, a counselor, or a therapist can be a helpful resource. Stepping out of the process entirely and recruiting help from a family member, a senior care expert, or a professional mover can also provide respite if and when the task becomes too overwhelming.

Managing the Move

For most seniors, the downsizing process doesn’t end with just decluttering. It involves preparing for a move, ideally one that offers a lifestyle with less maintenance and responsibility, more joy, and peace of mind, such as an independent living community, assisted living community, or even a memory care community. It might feel like you’re running a marathon to get there, but when it comes time to manage the move, you’ll be in the homestretch.

During the downsizing process, before even beginning to pack, create an ongoing list of important documents and essentials that should be kept separate. Put any medical records, birth certificates, passports, insurance policies, social security cards, and other important documents together in a secure location that you can access throughout the move. While packing, set aside an essentials bag containing necessities like medications, toiletries, sleepwear, cleaning supplies, and kitchen supplies. Keep this bag separate from the packing boxes and in a place you can access at any time.

After you’ve sorted your way through your home, consolidating and decluttering, decide how you will manage your move. While family members often manage the moving process independently for their loved ones, many communities provide services or referrals that can assist along the way.

Thinking about hiring a professional? Consider where, when, and how you will be moving. How much “stuff” will be coming with you? Who will you rely on to help? Who can assist you in setting up your new space and helping you settle in? A senior care transition or moving specialist can do a lot of the heavy lifting when it is time to pack up your home and unpack into your new space. This assistance gives family members more time and emotional energy to support their loved one. 

Settling Into Your New Home

Once you’re physically settled into your new home, the task of making it feel like “home” begins. Caregivers can provide a great deal of support for their loved ones during this time as they help to personalize the new space and create a warm, welcoming, and easy-to-manage layout. Assistance with tasks such as arranging furniture, selecting decor, coordinating linens, determining storage solutions, and completing change of address requirements can help relieve the stress of moving.

Another way caregivers can support their senior loved ones settling into senior living is by joining them for activities, events, and programs taking place in the community. Take weekly walks with your loved one until they find their bearings, enjoy lunch in the dining room, meet fellow residents, stay for happy hour, or stop by for an exercise class or afternoon entertainment. Your presence in the community for the first few weeks can help your loved one feel reassured and gain confidence to connect and initiate with new friends or neighbors.

Self-Care for the Caregiver

Supporting a loved one’s successful transition to a senior living community can be exhausting. The responsibilities feel endless, and most days, there are never enough people or resources to help. Don’t hesitate to rely on a senior care expert for guidance and support. A senior care counselor is often a community’s sales and marketing manager, and your first point of contact when inquiring about a community’s senior living options. Their expertise can be invaluable in helping you manage each step of a loved one’s move, from signing paperwork and securing floor plans to placing a deposit and downsizing.

Most importantly, try to schedule stress-relieving activities that can free you from caregiving responsibilities. Invest in services that can help save time and effort and make things easier for you and your family, whether that means hiring a moving company or another professional. Look for ways to ensure your needs are also taken care of, so you can have time for much-needed rest and relaxation.

Supporting Your Loved One’s Move

No caregiver should have to manage a loved one’s move alone.

If you’re feeling the strain of caregiving or just starting the downsizing process for a senior loved one, we’re here to help. Our Cardinal Bay team is well-equipped to partner with caregivers and support their loved ones through the transition of moving.

To learn more about how we can help, connect with a Cardinal Bay team member or check out our free resources! Subscribe to our blog or schedule a tour at any of our independent living, assisted living, and memory care communities in Central Texas and Oklahoma. See firsthand why residents love living in our communities and wish they had moved sooner.