Sandwiched-generation caregivers—it’s the familiar term for middle-aged Americans taking on caregiving roles for aging parents while simultaneously caring for their own children. Working full-time, balancing schedules, busy careers, and supporting their loved ones, these caregivers manage complex emotions, stress and exhaustion, and often, financial worries.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by caring for an aging loved one while raising children and juggling family needs, you are not alone. In our upcoming blog series, we’ll explore the significant issues facing younger and middle-aged caregivers, and the older adults they care for. We’ll highlight the emotional impact of caregiving, share guidance for supporting your family, and offer practical tips for finding balance, practicing self-care, and planning for the future.

In this article, part one, we’ll discuss the unique demographics of this generation, the challenges of sandwiched caregiving, and how to manage a loved one’s care when balancing multiple roles.

Key Takeaways

• Sandwiched generation caregivers face unique challenges that impact family life, work, play, finances, and personal well-being
• Seven things caregivers can do now in response to an aging parent’s increased care needs
• Finding help for the journey – a tip to point caregivers in the right direction

Sandwiched Caregivers: Who are they?

The term “sandwiched-generation caregivers” refers specifically to middle-aged adult caregivers in their 30s, 40s, and 50s who are caring for an aging parent while raising their own children. These caregivers are “sandwiched” between the responsibilities of caring for older loved ones over 65 and growing children, typically aged 18 or younger, or adult children they are supporting financially, such as college-aged students.

In a survey of U.S. Adults conducted by the Pew Research Center conducted in October 2021, it appears that among this group of caregivers, Americans in their 40s are most likely to fall within the “sandwiched” demographic, with more than half (54%) of these individuals having a parent age 65 or older and a child under 18 or an adult child they are supporting financially (within the year before the survey).

The Center summarized that among those in their 50s, 36% fall into this category, and among those in their 30s, 27% are sandwiched caregivers. Of those in their 40s and 50s, about one-in-five sandwiched caregivers have both a minor child and an adult child they assist financially, as well as an aging parent.

What do sandwiched caregivers look like in real life? Here are a few examples to consider:

• A couple in their 40s raising a teen and an elementary-aged child while they each serve as primary caregivers for their parents.
• A single mom in her 50s who cares for her dad, who lives with her, while also supporting an adult child in college and one in high school.
• A dad in his 40s (with children in high school) who cares for his mother, who lives alone, while his wife serves as primary contact for her father and stepmother, who live in senior living.
• A granddaughter in her 30s raising a preschool-aged child, who is caring for her widowed mother and her 90-year-old grandmother.

Challenges Faced by Sandwiched Caregivers

It comes as no surprise that sandwiched caregivers have many demands on their time and energy, with parenting struggles and caregiving tasks competing for their best every day. Interestingly, both men and women and adults across racial and ethnic groups appear to be equally likely to become sandwiched caregivers, facing many of the same challenges.

A recent Carewell study of 1,000 Americans aged 35-60 examined the experience of sandwiched caregivers and noted the following findings:

• 70% balance full-time jobs with caregiving duties, spending an average of 37 hours per week giving care.
• Many caregivers (71%) struggle financially due to caregiving responsibilities; 75% find it hard to save for retirement, and 63% live paycheck to paycheck.
• Nearly 1 in 5 sandwich generation caregivers (18%) always feel stressed due to their responsibilities.

The study also noted several of the top challenges faced by the sandwiched generation, including the first five mentioned below:

1. Lack of personal time – Many sandwiched caregivers experience limited personal time after becoming parents, as they juggle the routines of parenting with each season. Evenings and weekends that were once opportunities for fun become hours spent on transportation coordination, to-do lists, visits, and errands.

2. Emotional stress – Sandwiched caregivers are well-acquainted with feelings of guilt, discouragement, anxiety, sadness, and often resentment. Many caregivers also experience feelings of failure and loss as they cope with a loved one’s changes or their own time limitations.

3. Financial strain – With over half of sandwiched caregivers living paycheck to paycheck, it’s not uncommon for the sandwiched generation to accumulate credit card debt when contributing to an aging parent’s care needs (home care services, supplies, or a parent's cost of living). It’s challenging for caregivers to set aside funds for retirement, emergency savings, or essential expenses (healthcare, utilities, home maintenance, etc.).

4. Balancing work and caregiving – Although some roles allow for remote work arrangements or flexibility with daily/weekly schedules, balancing work and caregiving remains a challenge. Many caregivers are forced to request time off to provide care or supervision for a child/loved one, and some apply for Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) protections to secure their jobs while meeting their loved ones' needs.

5. Demands of caregiving –  Caring for both children and aging parents, and balancing the continual mental load that’s required to keep daily life moving forward, places significant strain on a caregiver’s mental health. Household chores, laundry, meal preparation, school functions, sports events, medical appointments, yardwork, and more constantly fill the to-do list.

To see the remainder of the list and additional details regarding the study and these challenges, visit: https://www.carewell.com/resources/blog/the-sandwich-generation/

With so much to manage, how can sandwiched caregivers successfully address and support an aging loved one’s changing care needs?

Caring for Aging Loved Ones

Prioritizing care for both children and parents can be stressful. Thankfully, there is guidance to support families facing these challenges. Sandwiched caregivers can rely on their family support system and the community around them to maintain their health and well-being, as well as that of their loved ones. Not sure how to best manage an aging parent’s increasing care needs? The following list offers seven action steps you can take today to navigate this role.

1. Assess your loved one’s needs – Start by identifying your loved one’s care needs. Can they safely live alone? Do they need assistance with daily tasks? Are they becoming increasingly forgetful? Make note of their specific needs and be present with them during medical appointments to gain further insight. Ask for recommendations and referrals from a trusted physician to develop a sustainable care plan.

2. Determine legal and financial priorities – Meet with a legal and financial advisor to review your situation and find the best option for managing your finances as a caregiver. Plan ahead financially when possible and adjust your budget to meet your current needs. Set aside funds to cover your expenses and priorities.

If you’re managing finances for a loved one or taking on a Power of Attorney role, ask for advice on handling this change. You can also inquire about financial benefits or support programs that offer assistance, such as the VA Aid and Attendance program for veterans or the National Family Caregiver Support Program. Taking this step can safeguard your own financial future while protecting your loved one’s as well.

3. Understand senior living/care options  - Reach out to a senior living expert for guidance on navigating the caregiving journey. While mom or dad may not be ready to make a move to a senior living community, you can find valuable information about the process should you need to consider this option, especially in a crisis. You can also find helpful referrals for professional services and understand how options such as home care, home health care, independent living, assisted living, and memory care can benefit your loved one.

4. Explore options for community support - Find a caregiver support group or another small group where you can connect with others, relieve stress, and learn about community resources. Research professional services in your area that provide support, such as adult day care centers, meal delivery services, homemaker and companion services, YMCA programs, senior center offerings, Alzheimer’s Association workshops, or respite care options for senior living when relief is needed.

5. Take care of yourself – Taking care of yourself as a sandwiched caregiver may feel impossible, but it is critical to maintaining your whole-body health and well-being. Don’t place additional stress on yourself if you can’t make time for everything; do what you can when you can, the best that you can.

• Try to make time for physical exercise, which can help to relieve stress and regulate emotions.

• Set aside time to rest when you need it and get enough sleep at night to help you function throughout the day.
• Stay well-hydrated and nourished with meal options high in protein, fiber, fruits, and vegetables.
• Adopt practices to help you manage anxiety or frustration, such as yoga, meditation, prayer, and reflection.
• Take time away from responsibilities to recharge, even if it’s only for a short period of time.

6. Manage family dynamics – When managing family dynamics, the best course of action may be to seek professional help for yourself as you adapt to the role of a sandwiched caregiver. Talking to a counselor or therapist can equip you to handle unpredictable family dynamics with greater confidence and composure, safeguarding your mental health and benefiting your loved ones.

A work-based employee assistance program may offer free consultations and help to secure a licensed professional. Inquire about free parenting workshops in your community or caregiver education classes that can help you understand how to handle complex family dynamics that arise.

7. Ask for (and receive) the help you need – Asking for, and receiving, the help you need is essential, whether it’s time off from work to devote time to caregiving, support from a school social worker to monitor your child’s needs, or help from fellow family members to assist with a loved one’s medical appointment. Assistance with preparing meals, child drop-offs and pick-ups, running errands, or even just visiting with you or your loved one can provide an emotional boost and offer stress relief at the right time.

Finding Support

Navigating the challenges of sandwiched caregiving may feel overwhelming at times, but help is always available. Whether you rely on professional care services, friends and family, or a local senior living community, there is a wealth of resources to support you and your family through this season.

Find the help you need by contacting a Cardinal Bay senior living expert. We have years of experience working with families just like yours, managing the same demands of raising children while caring for aging parents. We can offer a personalized assessment of your loved one’s care needs, guide you in coordinating their care—whether at home or in a community setting—and provide the reassurance you need that you are doing your best for your family.

We invite you to experience the warm, welcoming home environment at our Cardinal Bay senior living communities, which offer relationship-centered independent living, assisted living, and memory care options to help residents truly thrive. Schedule a visit to any of our Central Texas or Oklahoma locations, or follow our blog for additional resources for seniors and caregivers.