The Challenges of Sandwiched Caregiving, Part Three: Accessible Self-Care for the Caregiver

Sandwiched generation caregivers—middle-aged adults caring for older loved ones while raising children—account for nearly 30% of all caregivers. These caregivers face unique challenges balancing the two roles, which can significantly impact an individual’s physical, mental, emotional, and financial health.

In our series on sandwiched generation caregiving, we’ve discussed the demographics of this group and explored some of these challenges: emotional stress, financial strain, limited personal time, and the demands of supporting children. In light of those challenges, this article (part three) will address the all-important practice of self-care.

If you’re a sandwiched caregiver supporting an aging parent and juggling the needs of children, you know how essential self-care can be. But what happens when the demands of these competing roles make self-care feel out of reach, or even impossible? Join us as we share accessible ways to help you feel empowered when caring for your own health and well-being, and those you love.

Quick Navigation

• Self-Care and Nurturing a Healthy Mindset
• Accessible Self-Care Practices
• Self-Care Resources & Sites
• Maintaining Self-Care and Caregiver Respite

Self-Care and Nurturing a Healthy Mindset

Caring for those you love can be fulfilling and rewarding, but for many of us, this role comes with endless tasks, complex emotions, and frequent feelings of exhaustion. Some days, the mental load of parenting while caregiving can feel like more than one person can manage. Your time, energy, and strength are not unlimited, and when everyone needs you, these resources can be quickly depleted, leaving little left over for you.

An important part of self-care is nurturing a healthy mindset. Keeping an open mind and a flexible perspective throughout your caregiving journey can help you manage challenges as they arise, while staying present.

• Acknowledge the complexity of being a sandwiched caregiver. It’s okay to admit when you’re feeling less than okay. Feelings of frustration, sadness, anger, or even resentment are normal emotions and all part of the process. They don’t mean you are a selfish, uncaring person.
• Expect the ups and downs. Most sandwiched caregivers experience ups and downs from day-to-day. Some days might be “good days” for your aging parent—they remember to take their medication correctly, get outside for a walk, or enjoy a family visit. At the same time, the day might be a struggle with your children, with sibling fights, friend trouble, or school demands requiring extra attention. Try to adopt a “go with the flow” approach. Celebrate the good, manage the not-so-good, and mentally prepare for unpredictable ups and downs.
• Remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. Don’t let negative self-talk take the lead. Share how you’re feeling with a trusted friend or family member. Talk about the struggles you’re facing or about a recent win. This dialogue is essential for caregivers to process their experience and find strength for the days ahead.

Accessible Self-Care Practices

Self-care practices are often touted as essential, “non-negotiable” tasks that must be incorporated into a caregiver’s routine. And while self-care practices are essential, for most caregivers, the thought of fitting in one more item on an already overflowing to-do list can feel impossible. Self-care can seem like a luxury for those already filling every last minute of every day with “non-negotiable” tasks.

A kinder, gentler approach may be to view self-care as an open and evolving set of restorative practices that can be easily implemented and maintained, even in the most demanding seasons. We’re all familiar with the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Self-care fills the cup one drop at a time, or several drops at a time, empowering the caregiver with renewed strength.

 The following is a list of accessible practices sandwiched caregivers can explore when prioritizing self-care:

Self-Care Practices for Basic Needs

• Move your body. Take a short walk, do a flight of stairs, stretch your muscles, or dance to a favorite song. Even 10-20 minutes of movement can help lower stress levels, clear the mind, and improve overall health.

• Close your eyes. When feeling exhausted, set a timer and close your eyes for just a few minutes while sitting in your car or during your lunch break.
• Enjoy a refreshing cold or comforting hot drink. Look for options with natural flavors, low sugar, electrolytes, or antioxidants.
• Have a snack. Try something high in protein and nutrient-dense, such as trail mix, yogurt or cottage cheese, a whole grain muffin, fruits and vegetables, or popcorn.
• Sit with a blanket for a few minutes. Find a comfortable spot and sit with something you enjoy a magazine or a book chapter.
• Watch, read, or listen to something encouraging or uplifting.
• Get a massage, a manicure, or a haircut. Take time to do something that makes you feel cared for.
• Do a few yoga poses or find an online video and try a short stretching routine
• Drive to a place you enjoy (park, garden, lake/river, library, downtown, etc.) and sit for a few minutes.
• Keep your appointments. Don’t neglect your medical appointments, wellness visits, or annual preventive screenings—or a lunch visit with a friend.
• Listen to some ad-free music. Find a favorite artist or try something new and enjoy a few minutes of music without the noise or distractions.
• Play a game outside with your children. Leave the to-do list aside and shoot a few hoops, kick the soccer ball around, or have a catch. You’ll get fresh air, move your body, and nurture your relationship all at the same time.
• Order take-out. Sometimes the most caring thing you can do is forego making dinner and enjoy a quick meal with your family.
• Go to bed an hour earlier. If you can’t make this work every night, choose one or two nights where you skip the late-night chores and get some extra rest.

Simple Self-Care Practices for Short Moments

• Drink water. Staying hydrated is an easy way to care for your body. Fill a water bottle throughout the day and keep up with this healthy habit. Add fruit or electrolytes to add flavor and a few extra nutrients.
• Light a candle. Find a few candles that delight your senses or set a peaceful vibe.
• Tell yourself it’s okay to do nothing for a few minutes.
• Lay down on the floor or an exercise mat, relax your muscles, or listen to music for a few moments.
• Do a few deep breathing exercises with intention.
• Go outside. Enjoy a few minutes of fresh air, sunshine, or a nice breeze.
• Sit in a quiet environment in a comfortable position.
• Cuddle with a pet or take them for a short walk.
• Text a friend or family member and have a quick chat.
• Have a piece of chocolate or enjoy another treat that makes you smile.

Self-Care Practices to Ask for Help

• Create a list of ways you could use additional help. When someone asks if there is anything they can do, share the list and invite them to choose a task if they are interested.
• Initiate a carpool. Offer to transport another family’s children if they are willing to do the same for you to eliminate an extra drop-off or pick-up.
• Update your family chore chart. Assess your workload at home and see how other family members can contribute in helpful ways.
• Find a babysitter. Reach out to your local church, school PTO, or neighbors to find a babysitter who can help with childcare duties or an evening night out.
• Reach out to your local senior center. Ask about resources and services that can support you as you care for your senior loved one.
• Hire a professional. If weekly housekeeping or large maintenance projects seem to be going undone, consider hiring a professional to help and not adding another task to your to-do list.
• Talk to a counselor, therapist, spiritual advisor, or friend. Ask them for guidance in learning how to delegate tasks or approach.
• Take a mental health test. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and need support, visit Mental Health America for a free mental health test.
• Speak to your employer. If the demands of caregiving and parenting become too much to manage, talk to your employer about the possibility of flexible work options or taking a temporary leave of absence.

Self-Care Resources & Sites

Practicing good self-care also means staying well-connected to our family, friends, and community support system. Doing so reminds us that we are not alone in the challenges we face. Whether you take advantage of a local or online support group, follow a trusted healthcare organization, or simply connect with other caregivers, you can find valuable caregiving resources right in your own community.

Below are five reputable sites with self-care resources and tips for sandwiched caregivers supporting aging loved ones.

National Institute on Aging – Tips for Caregivers

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/taking-care-yourself-tips-caregivers

Family Caregiver Alliance – Guide to Taking Care of Yourself

https://www.caregiver.org/resource/guide-taking-care-yourself/

American Psychiatric Association Foundation

https://www.apaf.org/media-events/blogs/navigating-career-and-caregiving-in-the-sandwich-generation/

The Alzheimer’s Association

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/caregiver-health/be_a_healthy_caregiver

National Council on Aging

https://www.ncoa.org/article/alzheimers-and-dementia-caregivers-5-ways-to-help-find-nourishment/

Maintaining Self-Care and Finding Respite

Even in the most demanding seasons of life, self-care can be as accessible as it is essential. The keys to maintaining healthy self-care practices? Intention and adaptability. Set your intention to do whatever you can to help yourself stay healthy, balanced, and connected to your support system. Then be willing to adapt your practices in any way to make them work for you, given the ups and downs of your caregiving experience.

If there comes a time when you need extended relief from your caregiving routine or require additional support to provide the best care for your loved one, meeting with a senior living expert can provide valuable guidance and resources. A short-term stay at a senior living community can provide an engaging community environment, maintenance-free living, and care services and amenities to support a senior loved one’s needs. This option allows an aging loved one to experience the benefits of connection and community, while offering respite to the caregiver. Caregivers can once again nurture their relationship with their loved one without the demands of caregiving tasks.

To learn more about how a senior living lifestyle can support sandwiched caregivers, connect with a Cardinal Bay senior care expert today! Check out our valuable free resources by subscribing to our blog or scheduling a tour at any of our independent living, assisted living, and memory care communities in Central Texas and Oklahoma. See firsthand why residents love living in our communities and wish they moved sooner.