When the calendars turn to November, the holiday season arrives like the perfect storm, full of excitement and busyness, tasks and to-do lists, memory-making quests, high expectations, and a whole medley of emotions. But with so much to do and so many experiences tailored for younger relatives, it’s easy for senior loved ones to feel alone or overlooked.
If your loved one is struggling with changes in their health, independence, or social circle that impact their holiday enjoyment, take an empathetic approach. In this article, we’ll offer ways to help older loved ones recover a sense of meaning and feel seen, supported, and included this holiday season.
Holiday Emotions & Experiences
Holiday experiences and emotions evolve for all of us through the years—children grow up, loved ones relocate, relationships change, and life’s twists and turns impact our health, independence, and resources.
Maybe a loved one recently lost their spouse, or they are recovering from an injury? They may be adjusting to a new home after moving to a senior living community. Or perhaps they’re experiencing memory loss, which is causing frustration or concern.
Whatever the circumstances, feelings of sadness, stress, or grief should never be ignored in the hustle and bustle of the season. These complex emotions can make it difficult for a loved one to relax, connect with others, and enjoy the holidays altogether.
As you look for ways to engage your loved one this season, respond with patience and empathy. Acknowledge their emotions, experience, and perspective, and help them feel included by incorporating any of the ideas below.
12 Ways to Help your Loved one Feel Included During the Holidays
Honor their preferences. Sometimes a change of mindset is needed to help an older loved one feel included during the holidays. Instead of expecting Mom or Dad to appreciate what everyone else prefers, start by asking, “What would Mom or Dad enjoy?” and then involve the rest of the family.
Schedule time/activities in advance. Making time for a loved one to enjoy a special holiday experience may require planning. Schedule time on the calendar for an activity that would be meaningful for a loved one and follow through to make sure it happens.
Continue traditions and adapt when needed. Preserving traditions across generations is important to many older loved ones, but being flexible is key. Does Mom now live in a senior living apartment that can’t accommodate the family’s holiday cookie-baking tradition? Inquire about using space in your loved one’s community for baking or sharing the recipe with Mom and her neighbors and making cookies as a group activity.
Give them a role. We all want to feel like we have something to contribute. Consider a role where your loved one can assist and ask if they're willing to help. Then, save that task with them in mind. Whether it be wrapping gifts, writing placeholder cards, setting the table, polishing silverware, folding napkins, assembling holiday favors, or passing hors d'oeuvres, they’ll have something to do that will help them feel useful and busy at the same time.
Plan a holiday drive with a purpose. If a loved one has limited mobility or doesn’t enjoy large gatherings, schedule a holiday drive with a purpose. Visit a post office in their hometown to mail cards, drive to a location that reminds them of their childhood, stop at a local market, pick up fresh bread at the bakery, or bring home apple cider from the orchard for a holiday gathering. Let your loved one select the location and take the scenic route to get there.
Coordinate entertainment. Invite your loved one to help select activities and entertainment for upcoming family gatherings. Let them choose music playlists, holiday movies, puzzles, card/board games, or other favorites.
Create a quiet retreat. Holiday gatherings can get quite loud and boisterous. This can cause distracting or even frustrating sensory stimulation for those with hearing and vision challenges, or loved ones living with dementia. Often, an older loved one may just need some quiet time to fully enjoy the holidays. Create a tranquil retreat or a calming group activity for a loved one and other family members to enjoy when they need to step away. Activities such as ornament-making, puzzles, chess, stringing popcorn/cranberries, watercolors, coloring, or scrapbooking with family photos may work well.
Take your loved one to church. For many older seniors, attending church, synagogue, or another community of faith is an important practice, especially during the holiday season. If a loved one has limited transportation or is no longer driving, coordinate visits to their faith community for special events or weekly worship services. This can provide a meaningful connection that helps them to not only feel included but also find a sense of peace during the season.
Attend a holiday show. Think of an event your loved one would enjoy, whether it’s a theater production, a bell choir performance, a symphony, a ballet, a concert with a local band, or a similar offering. Let your loved one select the event and attend a holiday outing together that they will find enjoyable.
Decorate their home. Taking the time to decorate a loved one’s home for the season can bring them joy and lift their spirit, letting them know you’re thinking of them, even during the holiday busyness. Schedule time to decorate or surprise them if you think they would appreciate the gesture. Whether you’re putting out pumpkins and mums, holiday lights, or a wreath on the door, keep things easy and straightforward. Don’t forget the cozy details, such as a festive pillow, blanket, or holiday mug.
Help with a holiday task. Does your loved one need help with a holiday task? For example, would they enjoy sending holiday cards that feature family photos? Help them design a card, and have it printed and shipped with plenty of time to address and mail it to friends and neighbors. Then, they can show off what’s most important to them—their family—to others, giving them a sense of fulfillment and pride.
Give to others. Help your loved one connect to a cause that is close to their heart and contribute in a way they find meaningful. Whether they give their time to serve at their local church or donate to a charity they respect, or offer their expertise for coordinating an event to help others, there is no shortage of opportunities for giving back, especially during the holidays.
A Question to Ask and Consider…
This holiday season, as you prepare to gather with family and celebrate, take a few moments to pause and consider your loved one’s experience. Step into their shoes and reflect on their year. You may even want to ask, “How are you feeling about the holidays this year?”
You’re likely to get some valuable information in their response alone. Let that determine your next steps as you look ahead. Explore one or more of our recommendations for helping your loved one feel included and seek to understand their actual needs.
If a loved one is feeling down or depressed during the holidays, they may be experiencing similar emotional or mental health challenges at other times of the year. In some cases, a loved one may thrive during the holiday season but feel isolated and alone once the celebrations cease and the gatherings of family and friends diminish.
It's important to read a loved one’s emotional cues along the way and observe their mood and behavior leading up to, during, and after the holidays. If you’re unsure of how to support your loved one best and care for their increased needs, connect with a member of our Cardinal Bay team for additional support.
Looking for Support this Season?
We’ve partnered with families year after year to create a home and community environment where their senior loved ones can truly thrive. This year, instead of managing caregiver responsibilities on your own through another busy holiday season, talk to us about how we can help. Visit any of our Cardinal Bay communities in Central Texas or Oklahoma or subscribe to our blog for free resources and guidance for seniors and caregivers.
We wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season and a happy and healthy new year! Here’s to a joy-filled year!